"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:4 (KJV)
Beginning with a Pre-Ramble…
Being a Christian father, there is nothing like starting off with a dad-joke / pun. First things aside, dads get a bad rep from society. Mostly there is a set of expectations on you that are extremely intimidating, especially for men that have never been a father before. Of course, if you do not hit the level of expectations that are put on you by society, friends, family, loved ones or even yourself, well then you could be considered a dead-beat dad. Yeah, that title isn’t just for men who ran away from their responsibilities anymore.
My Introduction to Fatherhood
A good portion of men find out they are going to be a dad by hearing the words, "I'M PREGNANT!" However, this was not the case for me. My wife and I been married for almost 4 years and we talked one Saturday about maybe taking some foster or adoption classes. I say we should pray on it, and we did. Next day at church there is a morning announcement that there will be classes for foster and adoption.
After my wife and my classes were done, we got our certificates in the mail. Three days later we got a call for a placement of a child that was just pulled from her home and needed a foster family.
When she came to us, I was 40 and she was 2. Thankfully not a terrible 2 that I had heard so much about, but there was trauma just the same for a child that is pulled at 2 years old. All that and now the responsibilities of being a foster dad, and me at the age that I was, everyone was thinking I already knew how to be a parent. I guess I should add to this that my parents had already passed so I couldn’t go to them for any support.
This article explores the lessons I've learned from the teachings of God on being a dad. It uncovers the true essence of guidance, patience, trust, and unconditional love from a Christian perspective. You will gain insights into how these biblical principles have influenced my approach to fatherhood, hopefully inspiring you on your journey as well.
The Lesson of Guidance
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way." - Psalm 37:23 (KJV)
This verse imparts the truth that God provides guidance for the path of righteousness. When we seek His counsel and listen to His commands, our steps are made firm. As fathers, we can mirror this guidance in leading our children, helping them find their own paths in a world filled with distractions and trials.
As I had said in the previous section, my parents had already passed and I could not use them for support and guidance in this stage of my life. This led to many nights of prayers to God and conversations with Him for guidance because I wanted to take care of this little girl, plus show my wife I can be a good dad as well.
The funny thing about asking God to help guide you is this: He guides you. Not with a rigid hand, but with one that is open, offering wisdom and advice. I could see it in action, and I could see myself doing the same for this small precious life as I let her make choices and learn from their own mistakes, in a safe manner of course. As fathers, we are given the responsibility to guide, nurture, and lead our children in a manner that is pleasing to God. Just as women possess nurturing motherly qualities, men also have guiding, mentoring fatherly traits.
The Lesson of Patience and Trust
"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)
Isaiah calls us to be patient and place our trust in the Lord. It teaches us that in God's timing, strength is renewed and promises are fulfilled. This teaching holds a valuable lesson for us fathers as we interact with our children.
I should state right now that these lessons that I am talking about are not in order per se, they all happen staggering around each other in the maelstrom of chaos that is life. God has taught me the importance of patience and trust as a dad in this frantic pace of life. We live in a world immediate results and instant mashed potatoes (thank you microwave.) This unfortunately sets you up thinking everything will be taken care of instantly.
I could see God teaching me the lesson of Patience and Trust as I started to homeschool my daughter. Why wasn’t my wife homeschooling like every other Christian family that has blogs? Because I was injured while on the job and couldn’t stand or walk, so I got to stay home… and never leave. So that meant my wife had a career and I stayed home. How is that for gender roles! So now I took on the role of teacher patiently waiting as my child learned and put trust in God that we would finish her lessons. As the saying goes: the journey of fatherhood isn't a sprint; it's a marathon. Having patience and trusting the process is paramount, much like we are called to trust in God's timing.
The Lesson of Unconditional Love
"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:8 (KJV)
Romans 5:8 speaks of the greatest example of unconditional love - the sacrificial love of God towards us, even when we were estranged from Him by sin. This verse serves as an impactful reminder of the type of love we should emulate as fathers, and no that doesn’t mean you can go sacrifice your children for other people’s sins.
Years have passed since that little girl has come to my wife and I, and we have all faced together the trials and tribulations of the foster system, court hearings, legal issues, and so much more. In the end, my wife and I were blessed with the fact that we were able to adopt her into our family.
And after all these years my daughter has one picture that sits on her bathroom sink counter because she wants to see it all the time. The day that our church small group took a picture celebrating that she was officially ours. A picture of this little girl who almost comes up to my waist holding onto my wife and my hands in her little hands squeezing those hands against her face smooshing her cheeks because there is no way she could hug two grown people at once. The love on her face is immeasurable, and it makes me think of how much love I have for her.
She is not of my blood, but she is of my heart, my mind, and my soul. God knew that she would be in my family, we just had to wait for time to catch up. I look at that picture still to this day and tear up. To be honest, I have had to wipe a few tears while writing this. As a father, I know that our children do things that we might feel is foolish, or even downright wrong, yet we still love them. God's love for us is not dependent on our actions or our worthiness. In the same vein, as a father, God has taught me to love my child unconditionally. Her mistakes, her triumphs, her strengths, and her weaknesses – none of these change the depth of my love for her.
Conclusion
I know I am one man, with a heart the size of my fist, but I love my child to the point of tears. How much love can an all knowing, all powerful, infinite, timeless, spaceless, all loving God as ours can love? We are lucky to be His children adopted into His Kingdom. Listen to your Heavenly Father and you can find lessons from God Himself on how to be a dad. His teachings on guidance, patience, trust, and unconditional love have been instrumental in shaping my role as a father. I encourage you, no matter if you are a father now or will be in the future, start the conversation like I did, with a prayer.
Real-Life Application
There is a saying that goes: If you want to know something, teach it. If you want to truly know how to be a better dad or how God loves you as His child, then take some time today to connect with your children. Teach them the lessons in the Bible and you will memorize them with your child if you haven’t done so already. Share a story about a time when you relied on God's guidance, trusted in His timing, or felt His unconditional love just like the characters inside the Bible. Encourage them to share their experiences as well. This simple act of connection will help to illustrate these divine lessons and foster a deeper understanding of God's influence on your life as a father.
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave them in the comment section below. Additionally, if you found this article to be helpful, please share it with others who may also benefit from it.
Andrew R. Davis, a Christian blogger, speaker, and ministry leader, passionately shares the Word of God, guiding others in understanding the Bible and discovering their unique role in God's plan. Through HolyBanter.com, his podcast, and creative pursuits, he empowers Christians to incorporate spiritual gifts into everyday life, igniting their purposeful journey.
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