Divorce is rampant across nations, cultures and faiths. It is so prevalent that whenever you meet someone for the first time, it is a 50/50 chance that they have divorced at least once. This condition has caused much confusion and heartache within the Church for those men who wish to serve as Elders. Many men who have desired the service of an Elder have faced opposition because of a previous divorce.
Why?
The main opposition comes from those who believe that men who have had a previous divorce are not eligible to serve as Elder under any circumstance. However, with the point made previously about the frequency of divorce in our current world, it would be increasingly difficult to find men to fulfill this requirement. To find a remedy to this dilemma, we need to do what we need to do whenever faced with such a problem. We must go to the Bible.
What Does The Bible Say?
First of all, we need to hear the Word of the Lord:For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: (divorce) (Malachi 2:16, KJV)
Jesus also taught on divorce. In Matthew 19, He states that the institution of marriage was ordained by God and that in every marriage husband and wife become one for life. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6, KJV)
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32)
The teaching is very clear. Jesus restricted divorce under most circumstances. If the divorce was unproper, then any remarriage is considered adultery.
There are exceptions, again going to Matthew 19 and seeing what Jesus has to say in verses 8 and 9. Paul also gives an exception in 1 Corinthians 7:15. But it is important to note that despite these two exceptions, divorce is not sanctioned by Scripture.
What Is To Be Done?
Opposition to any divorced man serving as an Elder will be on the basis of 1 Timothy 3:2:
A bishop (elder) then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; (KJV)
Paul states that those serving as an Elder must be the husband of one wife (Greek phrase “mias gunaikos andra”, which literally translated means a “one-woman man” or “one-wife husband”.) Although there have been four different ways this phrase has been understood (must be married, must not be polygamists, married only once in a lifetime), I will focus only on the fourth one, which I believe to be correct: sexual purity and total commitment to their wife, or biblical monogamy.
This view emphasizes the concept of total marital faithfulness to one’s present spouse. In other words, are you completely committed to the wife you now have? Is your love for her growing every day as you serve and love her as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25)?
Another important point is that all the qualifications, not only regarding his marriage, are stated in the present tense. The evaluation of a man’s life must be done in the present, not the past. Does that mean that a man’s actions in the past have no implications in his present life. No. A man’s past can render him reproachable in some way. The divorce might be a disqualifier by the leadership and/or congregation if the former wife is in the church community or even in the same church. Maybe the children of the previous marriage are a reproach to him in some way, which is also a disqualifier.
Therefore, in my opinion, it is unlikely that a divorced man will be able to serve as an Elder. This does not mean that he cannot serve the Lord in the local church. It just means that he will likely serve in a non-elder capacity. We should never treat him as a second-class Christian, regarding his divorce as a stigma that will follow him forever. God’s grace can cover all manner of sin, but the consequences often have lasting effects.
Conclusion
Regardless of the specific circumstances of any one situation, the general principle should be this – Does he have the complete affirmation of the church leadership and people in his own congregation? Is he presently living out the qualifications of 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 in regard to his relationship to his wife, his children, to others and most importantly to God and His Word? When the church examines his life and ministry, do they find nothing in his present character or past conduct that would bring a reproach? If so, under God’s will, he may be able to serve as an Elder.
In his book, Biblical Eldership, Alexander Strauch states the following: “All deviations from God’s standard of marital behavior confuse and perplex us. Sin always confuses, distorts, and divides, so there will always be diverse opinions on questions such as these. This in no way, however, diminishes the local church’s obligation to face these issues and make wise, scripturally sound decisions. In all these heartbreaking situations, the honor of Jesus’ name, faithfulness to His Word, and prayer are the supreme guides.” (pg. 192-193)
Wise words that we should consider.
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave them in the comment section below. Additionally, if you found this article to be helpful, please share it with others who may also benefit from it.
Rob Harley, an accomplished accountant with over four decades of experience, is a devoted follower of Jesus Christ, who has dedicated his life to studying and sharing the message of salvation. With degrees in Accounting and Christian Education & Administration, he has led impactful Bible studies for diverse age groups for over 25 years, while nurturing a strong faith-based family in Central Florida.
Comments